The title, it turned out, was prophetic. In its first weekend, Madonna's new film, Swept Away, ran aground faster than the Exxon Valdez.

Released in 196 North American theatres, the $10-million romantic black comedy, directed and written by Madonna's hubby Guy Ritchie, took in a total of $375,000 (U.S.) -- an abysmal sum that, when divvied up, equals roughly $2,000 per house.

The disappointing (and, no doubt, embarrassing) box-office take prompted Madonna's hard-working publicist Liz Rosenberg to plead with the hordes of heartless critics and other press hounds out there to back off and stop being so darn hard on the Material Girl.

"It's a public hanging by the critics, an assassination," an indignant Rosenberg said earlier this week. "Give the girl a break already! Stop being so mean!

"I can't believe the level of rage being directed against her. It's a sad state that these critics are taking such joy in it."

There is no question that the majority of film reviewers hated Swept Away, almost as much as they loathed Madonna's previous movie-made-with-a-mate, Shanghai Surprise, a box-office flop (1986) in which she co-starred with previous husband, Sean Penn.

"Let's just sweep Swept Away to its inglorious future -- that congested place deep in the far reaches of the video bin," wrote Globe and Mail film critic Rick Groen last week. The Los Angeles Times described the movie as a "rough-trade Punch and Judy act," while The New York Times said it was "soggy and superfluous."

"It blows," said Rolling Stone succinctly, while The New York Post said, "it fails on every conceivable level." USA Today predicted it could be a strong contender for the Razzie, the "anti-Oscar" for the year's worst film.

In Swept Away -- a remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 film of the same name -- Madonna plays a spoiled, rich girl (Amber) who berates a deck hand (Adriano Giannini, son of Giancarlo Giannini, who played the role in the original film) while on a Mediterranean cruise with her filthy-rich industrialist husband.

The tables turn, though, when the socialite finds herself stranded on a deserted island (it was shot in Malta) with the scruffy sailor.

He suddenly holds the power because he knows how to survive, and he takes the opportunity to vent some of his repressed anger at her class by roughing her up as well.

She ends up loving him.

In the opening weekend, Swept Away, which was distributed by Screen Gems (an arm of Sony), earned less in ticket sales in 196 theatres than the new Adam Sandler comedy, Punch-Drunk Love, made in five cinemas ($380,000).

Ritchie has directed his wife before, in a video last year and in a slick advertisement he did for BMW. But this was the couple's first collaboration in a full-length feature film. Critics have said the British director should have stuck to his usual offbeat crime films, such as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch.

Indeed, a recent Details magazine editorial accused Madonna of ruining Ritchie's hipster reputation by starring in one of his flicks.

Spotted earlier this week at a Versace fashion show in London, Madonna has so far refused to comment on the box-office debacle. Ritchie, too, has been mum.

Over the years, the pop queen has earned some praise for her work in films such as Dick Tracy and Evita, and for her first acting role in Desperately Seeking Susan (1985).

Next month, she'll face the film critics again when she appears in the new James Bond movie, Die Another Day, as Bond girl Verity.

At least, Rosenberg pointed out earlier this week, Madonna "has a huge hit record right now that's making her feel good."

The publicist was referring to the singer's theme song for the 007 flick.