Genre: thriller, crime, drama

Never Die Alone

Directed by Ernest R. Dickerson

Written by James Gibson

Starring DMX, David Arquette

and Michael Ealy

Classification: 18A

Rating: *

The satirical website The Onion once skewered violence-prone rappers who pledge allegiance to God in CD liner notes. In a mock news story, the Lord finally responds to His crew, parting the clouds above the South Bronx to proclaim: "Mad props to P. Diddy, Jay-Z, DMX, L'il Kim, Mystikal, Eve, Ja Rule, Jadakiss, Trick Daddy and Xzibit. And one love to Meth, RZA, GZA, Ghostface . . . These My beloved niggaz, with whom I be well pleased."

Like some rappers, the new movie, Never Die Alone blurs any distinction between righteousness and vengeance. Or as the film's narrator, a dead guy in a coffin, puts it: "We reap what we sow. That's in the bible. Payback's a mother------. I think James Brown said that. Same difference."

The guy dying alone here, King David (DMX) is just out of jail and looking to make restitution. That might take some time, for while the Stutz Blackhawk he bombs around in is paid for; everything and everyone else, including the kid and mob kingpin he abandoned, is into him like a chainsaw. In reflective moments, King David is properly remorseful, especially about the beautiful wife he killed. But that's just for show, for in every flashback the King remains at his Staggerlee worst, beating up new girlfriends, cheating partners -- living large.

In the other corner, we have Michael (Michael Ealy), a sweet prince who has dedicated his life to looking after his kid sister. Right now though, Mikey's working as a mob enforcer, which is wrong technically, sure, but give the kid a break -- all he's trying to do here is save enough money to look after his family. (Funny thing though, the moment sis steps out of line, big brother gives her a belt.) Eventually, King David and Prince Michael meet in a spectacular turf battle. A messy affair that is witnessed by a white preppie (David Arquette) who aspires to write the great African-American novel.

What with a dead narrator and all the potboiler elements of cult crime writer Donald Goines's novel, you'd figure Never Die Alone might be a jolting B-movie melodrama. Maybe something like Across 110th Street or Coffy, one of those highly moral seventies crime stories that so inspired Quentin Tarantino.

Afraid not. For one thing, those earlier movies were shrewd character studies, whereas filmmaker Ernest Dickerson (Juice) swallows DMX's gangsta bullroar like he's directing the rapper's promo videos.

Then we come to Never Die Alone's sex scenes, which have DMX in bed with an assortment of groaning honeys. The women here are accessories. Something DMX wears on his stomach or fist for brief, violent moments.

In fact, it would appear that Never Die Alone doesn't like women at all. The four actresses in featured roles here are sodomized, blown across a room by a gun, and destroyed by drug overdoses. Men die in the film, too. Except they get to go out heroically, making brave speeches through clenched teeth.

Ironically, the only good thing about Never Die Alone is its rap-retro soundtrack (God bless Curtis Mayfield!). Otherwise the film is so full of crap they should name a Port-a-San after it.