Did everybody around here take a giddy pill?
It's either the giddy pills or we really are rubes. In the presence of American celebrities — even B-list ones — we can be just so gauche. If the celebrity pays attention to Canada, we prattle with delight and fawn over them.
Call me a curmudgeon, but the gushing excitement about the arrival here of Late Night with Conan O'Brien (NBC, Chum local stations, 12:35 a.m.) is embarrassing. The print media have gone berserk and the general public has lost all perspective. Tens of thousands of people have applied for tickets to the four shows he will tape in Toronto.
Presumably many of these people want to see O'Brien interview some of the Canadian-born, L.A.-living stars he's lined up the Toronto shows — Mike Myers, Michael J. Fox and Jim Carrey. Adam Sandler is coming too, I gather. That's great. Fine, enjoy yourselves.
But, up here, we have our own kind of wacky star system. Don Cherry is a star. He's also at the centre of a riveting controversy about broadcasting and free speech in Canada. And where will Don Cherry be tonight? He's on The Mike Bullard Show (Global, midnight). Sorry, Conan-crazies, but that is going to a great Canadian TV moment.
So, let's keep Conan O'Brien's Toronto shows in perspective here. First, remember that the Canadian taxpayer is underwriting the four Toronto shows. We're paying NBC to pay attention to us. Second, if the plan is to give Toronto a boost and tell Americans that, SARS or no SARS, it's fun to come here, the plan is kind of crazy. O'Brien's show airs after midnight. It has about three million viewers in the United States. We're not talking Super Bowl numbers, or even prime-time numbers, here.
The vast majority of American TV viewers will not even be aware that Late Night with Conan O'Brien is on the road and emanating from Toronto. They're not watching after midnight. This is about us, not them. It's about our silly old self-esteem.
Most of O'Brien's viewers are young men, aged 18 to 24 years old. My impression is that many of them are watching in college dorms, enjoying the Masturbating Bear character and other adolescent high jinks that happen on O'Brien's show. They are not going to troop off to Toronto because Conan came here and swapped laughs with Mike Myers and Jim Carrey. They've actually figured out that those celebrity comics live in L.A., not Toronto.
When O'Brien's viewers go on vacation, they go to the beach with other college kids and get all frisky with girls in bikinis. They are not coming to Toronto for spring break. They're not going to come here to see The Producers and spend an afternoon at the Art Gallery of Ontario. They're not likely to be excited about the new opera house.
Exactly why everybody is so excruciatingly excited about O'Brien show emanating from Toronto is beyond me. It's fun for the organizers, doing business with NBC and being in the general area of Mike Myers and Jim Carrey, but please get a grip.
Now, I've nothing against Conan O'Brien. He's funny. He's a red-haired Irish-American with a gift for seeing things in a comic light. He's goofy, good-natured and an eternal teenager in his view of the world. He's Harvard-educated and seems polite. He's our kind of American.
He's certainly been polite to all the Canadian journalists who have interviewed him to pump up the hype about his Toronto shows. He's even making an effort to showcase homegrown, home-based Canadian talent while he's here. He's got comedian Ron James on the show and, in a nice touch, he's having Stompin' Tom Connors.
That's all just dandy. But we don't need to be so obsequiously respectful and giddy. On the NBC web site for Late Night with Conan O'Brien, the host has posted this notice: "That's right, after 10 years, we've finally been invited to Canada in the dead of winter and we couldn't be more excited! So be cool, my babies, and listen up!"
The excited media and celebrity-worshippers in Toronto should take note of O'Brien's exhortation — "So, be cool, my babies…" Let's have fun with this but let's not embarrass ourselves any further.
Also airing tonight: Perfect Match (Life, 9 p.m.) is another dating/reality show. A 25-year-old guy named James allows his sister, best friend and a relationship expert to pick a gal from 25 hopefuls. The gal moves in with James. It's worth watching for the interviews with the 25 young women — some are nice, and some are so crazy, they're downright scary.
NYPD Blue (ABC, Ch, 10 p.m.) is not dead. It's back at last with new episodes. The on-again, off-again series stands as an example of the chaotic, self-defeating programming policy that has screwed American network TV. The series — a solid hit, even if it has become predictable — has been pushed around the schedule to make room for idiotic reality series. But as regular viewers will know, the central, representative figure is still Det. Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz) and you can't kill him, any more than you can kill this series.
Dates and times may vary across the country. Please check listings or visit www.globeandmail.com/tv
